Supporting an Empowered Practice for Bigger-Bodied Yogis

In almost every Vinyasa or Ashtanga class I take, I hear it: “Bring your elbow to your knee, twist, and hold for five breaths.”

When I hear this instruction for Parivrtta Parsvakonasana (revolved side angle pose), I dig deep. I want to do the twist and enjoy all of the detoxifying, lengthening properties this instruction promises. The problem is that, as someone who is both genetically predisposed to a large belly and as a mom who carries extra weight in the chest, arms, and thighs, this pose will never look like it’s shown on the cover of Yoga Journal, or even as most yoga teachers will cue the pose.

For a year, I thought that my failure to come into this pose was my fault: I simply was not fit enough to achieve it. I needed to lose weight, get stronger, and surrender to the yogic process as it transformed my body. Yoga taught me all three of these things, but still, this pose was the bane of my existence. There was just no fucking way my left elbow was going to meet the outside of my right knee and I was going to bring my arms out to “fly in a T.”

One early morning practice, at the crux of my sweating and doing and failing, a long-trusted teacher of mine gave me a different instruction: widen my stance, place a block under my hand on the inside of my foot, and open out. I did so, and at once my heart opened as my lower back and abdomen finally had room to twist. I reached towards the ceiling, and I found that “T” like I was standing at the bow of the friggin’ Titanic.

At that moment of pure yogic sadhana, I realized that there was nothing wrong with me. There was also nothing wrong with the practice or the teachers who didn’t know how instruct me into this expression of the pose. I simply needed to make the practice my own and let my body take up the space it needed to.

Later in my yogic studies I learned that there is an ayurvedic type to my body: Kapha dosha. Those with Kapha doshas can tend towards bigger overall bodies or to be bigger in certain parts of their bodies. They also are incredibly strong inside and out—like an ox pulling a semi-truck kind of strong.

If you have taken a yoga class and felt like the sweatiest, heaviest-breathing person in the room, or if you have experienced sitting on a 3-hour flight with your arms folded like a piece of tortured origami so the person sitting next to you doesn’t give you side-eye, you know what I mean. For bigger bodied people, simply walking into a yoga studio full of lithe, thin bodies can require incredible resolve. We are stronger than most people know and are certainly stronger than our fat-shaming, body-shaming culture gives us credit for.

For yoga to be safe and effective for me, I gave myself permission to use blocks, bolsters, and straps and adjust my stance to take up room. I bought a wider and taller yoga mat. Props, which I once thought of as crutches, became essential tools that helped me find my strongest practice. The load of weight on my cervical spine should never be what it might in a traditional headstand, so I found my own way with blocks under the shoulders. When I became a yoga teacher, I became passionate about sharing what I had learned about finding strength in a bigger body.

My asana practice isn’t textbook—and it shouldn’t be. Ashtanga yoga, after all, was originally developed for limber teenage boys, not a 200+ pound mom with a potbelly. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t crush a small person with the force of my quads alone. I am a fat, strong, self-empowered person who loves to be in her body. When I take up more space in a fitness culture that constantly tells me to be smaller, my yoga practice makes me that much more bold.

This month, I am honored to offer the series Yoga in Bold: Asana for Bigger Bodies, Mondays at 6:30pm in October 2018. The four-week series is designed for those who identify as bigger bodied, people who may not identify as bigger bodied but want to learn how to modify for bigger parts of the body (chest, arms, abdomen, buttocks, thighs, etc.), and yoga teachers who want to learn more about helping bigger bodied students find an empowering practice.

As part of the series, we focus on finding strength and flexibility in a safe, body-appropriate, and body-positive environment. We’ll build our practice from the ground up, exploring standing poses, backbends, forward folds, and twists with the bigger body in mind. We’ll pay special attention to the work of the feet, abdomen, and pelvis, as well as ayurvedic ideas about strength and how to use foundation and space so that you can find your best practice—one that is tailored to where your body is now, just as it is.

If you’ve ever felt like the biggest person in a yoga class, this series is for you. If you’ve ever had trouble bringing your leg forward into a low lunge or feel strangled in bridge pose or shoulderstand, this series is for you. If you are a yoga teacher of any size and want to learn how to instruct poses for those with bigger bodies and be more sensitive to their needs, this series is also for you. Beginning and intermediate practitioners as well as anyone who wants to learn more about finding strength in a body-positive Hatha yoga environment are welcome.

Because there is no part of yourself—or your body—that is not welcome here.

Portions of this blog entry appeared on Yoga Yoga’s Blog in November 2016. To register for the series or drop-in for a single class, visit Yoga Yoga’s website.